Tag Archives: humor

A Spoonful of Magic Helps the Anxiety Go Down….No, Not Really.

12 Dec
Even at 23, I run up to my favorite characters....

Even at 23, I run up to my favorite characters….

The interview at Disneyland is tomorrow and my anxiety levels are a peak. I have been wigging out now for about a week.


Last week, Tuesday to be exact, I came home from an invigorating run and my husband told me Fresh & Easy Neighborhood Market might go out of business between March and April.

Seriously, this meme does not even begin to cover it.

Seriously, this meme does not even begin to cover it.

First of all, I LOVE FRESH AND EASY. Words cannot even begin to make y’all understand how much I truly need Fresh and Easy in my life. I think Trader Joe’s is okay. As for Whole Foods? A little out of my price range and both stores near me are actually….not near me. Fresh and Easy has been the sole market for my shopping for three years now.
Secondly, my hubs is currently employed by Fresh and Easy. They give him decent pay and decent hours. Losing Fresh and Easy would be a big blow to my family.

When hubs told me the news, instead of losing my shiz (because that is totally what I wanted to do) I sat down at the computer and decided to apply at a few places.

Since I decided to go to school and do as much of the stay at home mom thing as possible, my work history is less than stellar. I have held down a couple jobs since I was 16 but I do not have many real employable skills yet. (Nothing besides my amazingly awesome personality and ability to beast it in the gym. Haha) The first site I went to was the Disney careers site. Luckily, they had a few positions open. I applied. Then, I received a web-based interview a few hours later. Then, I was asked to schedule an in-person interview.

At first, I was sincerely excited. For the past four years or so, I have wanted to work at Disneyland. I actually moved out to this state with that in mind. It had just never panned out. I went to bed that evening yammering to my hubs about how fantastic my job will be and how completely envious he will be.

The next morning was a different story.

i think i had that creepy face going on too....

i think i had that creepy face going on too….

I was pouring over Disneyland message boards trying to figure out what the interview would entail, how I should dress, what I should say, what the job would be like, if I would get hired, and a lot of other speculations that only the interwebz could grant me. I was starting to go nuts.

Do you think i’ll do well? Maybe they won’t like me? Should I wear this? If my hair is curly, will I look too edgy to get a job there? Do you think they’ll hire me right away or waitlist me? What if I do not get the job? Will we be broke? Will we become homeless? AHAHAHAHAHA!

I warned my husband when he first met me that I am crazy. In fact, I think my actual wording was something like this, “I am the kind of person that stresses out about being stressed out and then will become depressed about being so stressed out. I’m actually probably crazy enough to be committed, but I have been told that my neurotic mess of a self can be endearing and hilarious.” Somehow, he never ran off during any of our initial dates and then later proposed….and then actually married me. He’s probably the crazy one.

Anyway, this poor man has been bombarded with questions he could not possibly have the answers to. We have gone to the mall four times to return and purchase the perfect interview shirt. I have rehearsed my answers to interview questions at least half an hour a day and he is still lovely enough to pretend to listen. I have to give him kudos.

There is nothing magical about this right now. I have been to the point of pulling my hair out. I see my insecurities out in full bloom. I hate the possibility of rejection, no matter who or where it comes from. I am going to breathe today. The interview is tomorrow and I will sleep tonight. I will not scan Disney message boards. I will not try on the same five outfits over and over again asking if I look fat, dumb, or employable. They should hire me and if they don’t then they are crazy. I’ll be fine. I will not let it define me.

This is how i'll walk out of the interview if they do not hire me.

This is how i’ll walk out of the interview if they do not hire me.



Slip-On Sneakers at the Gym

28 Nov

I’d apply at that place!

After a weekend of not running or going to the gym, my workout today (technically yesterday) was very needed.

I am reaching the end of Stage 1 of New Rules of Lifting for Women. I will be sad to go on to Stage 2. I am currently OBSESSED with back squats. I may just add those into the workout somehow. Anyway, here was my workout today.

Back squats: 1×8 @ 115lbs, 2×8 @ 125lbs
Push Ups: 3×8 on an aerobic step with 1 pair of risers
Dumbbell Bent Over Rows: 3×8 @ 25lbs
Step Ups: 3×8 on an aerobic step with 3 pairs of risers w/ 22.5lbs (per dumbbell)
Prone Jackknife: 1×10, 2×12

Cardio was weird today. I love to run. I spent all of my childhood hating running. I dreaded the mile in gym. I always got side stitches and my legs felt like lead. Last year, something changed inside me. I slowly started running and now I love it. I am psycho about trying to protect my knees though. I have only one pair of shoes right now and they are a pair of blue slip-on sneakers. I picked them up at Target one day for twelve bucks. These are not the type of shoes I would run in. I felt like a dork in the gym today. I kept looking down at my feet wondering if I looked like a super gymrat because nothing stops me from working out or if I looked like a fitness nOOb who doesn’t even get the right shoes to workout in. Either way, I did what I needed to do! I decided to do twenty minutes on the stairclimber and then do half an hour on the elliptical. I worked up a nice sweat.

One thing I did notice at the gym today was that I could not keep my eyes off of myself. My confidence is raising. I see a strong sexy lady when I look in the gym mirrors now. I no longer see a girl that always felt physically weak. I see a woman with a barbell across her shoulders squatting ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE POUNDS! I have made such a giant transformation. Today, it was hard to stop looking and myself with pride. I hate to go on about myself like that, but it is a big deal for me. I’m sure i’ll divulge into that more later.

In other news, we have a cute little Minnie Mouse themed Christmas tree up. We decided to be those people this year, haha. A tree up before it is even December. It is hard not to be excited when you have an thirty-four month old bouncing around with a smile on his face constantly babbling about Christmas. I am more excited about December 14th though. Fall semester will be over!!

I will try to catch up on blog reading (and posting) but I am now in finals week so…..anything that does not involve my son, school, or working out…..EEEEK….do not know if I will have time!

In the spirit of finals (and trying not to stress myself out about if I am or am not getting straight As):

Mmmm……I believe in you too ;p

Thanksgiving Breakdown

23 Nov

And also you Chuck.

I spent almost a week stressing out about Thanksgiving. I imagined my hubs and grandmother not getting along. I imagined 5,000 calories worth of food going down my throat and expanding my stomach. I imagined crying and wishing that Thanksgiving had never became a holiday.

As usual, my worrying was for nothing. My grandmother cooked a delicious meal. There was a lot more butter going on than I would have preferred,  but it was not as bad as I thought.

My grandmother was channeling her inner Paula Deen yesterday.

Since I know it is so easy for me to make a day of overeating become a week of overeating, I kept an eye on myself yesterday. I tried to fill up on turkey, green beans (she did not add the bacon, yay!), and cranberry salad. I did eat a tiny portion of the candied yams and mashed potatoes and gravy. I did not want my grandmother to feel bad, even if our previously discussed meal plan was ignored. I even indulged in a pie of homemade apple pie and a piece of pumpkin pie.

I had more room for pie because I did do my training run yesterday. I ran 4.15 miles on the streets. I really hold myself back on the treadmill. I run a steady 10:20 pace on the streets, while I stay between 10:45-11:10 on the treadmill. I have always been one to focus on my distance, not my speed. I also do not want to push myself to run to fast and then suffer an injury. I like to be careful.

I finally discovered why I have felt so sick. I am suffering from a killer sinus infection. But it is not stopping me from my training!

Hope y’all had a great turkey day!

What? Who? Me? You? … Leave a Message After the Beep.

18 Nov




I pray to the Gods of college, coursework, and education in general that last night will be the last time I have to attempt an all-nighter until spring semester (or never having to attempt one again would be nice too). I went to bed around 6-6:30am and woke up on and off from 10 until 11:45am. If you asked my random facts about myself today, I probably could not tell you anything past my name. I am checked out today folks. If my training log did not tell me it was Sunday, who knows what I would say the date is.
My blender bottle is full of coffee and whey protein mix. A nice little dish in front of me is pilled with steamed broccoli. One, if not both, of these things better perk me up and help me become partially functional.


I took my measurements today and was not thrilled. I did lose a pound and a half but apparently I am only slimming down my thighs. Damn the lower belly pooch of childbirth, will I ever see you disappear?! I see that I need to cut some sodium out. (I am not bingeing, so that is good. My weekly calorie totals are just about where they should be, give or take a couple hundred.) I know part of it is TOM, that bastard, but putting hot sauce on everything might just be part of the problem soon. I am also worried that with marathon training I will lose lean mass too and not just fat. I am still lifting while running (thus far, however I am nervous about when my mileage really starts to go up) so I am hoping to combat this issue. I had a (now ex) friend tell me that I could never develop my lean muscle mass and just lose fat if I was running. If that is true, then I will take being skinny fat forever.


If I came home to that ^ I would run every single day. Wait, I almost do that now! I love to run. As much as I would love to be a sexy bulk of lean firm muscles, the feeling I get during and after a run (especially one ranging from 6-13 miles) beats that desire.

I lost track of my days and of the daily fit thoughts. Damn my need for a higher education. (If there is still such a thing in America.) I will figure out if today is Day 9, 10, or 11 later and then I will post on how i’m doing without fast food and what the fit thought is today.

I only have an hour to three of homework today and I will be able to fit in my gym time. YAY!

Can someone find a way to have Ryan Gosling at my house, waiting for me, when I come home from the gym? justathought.

Insomnia #2

10 Nov

I figured I will number these post as a lack of sleep seems to be a constant in my life.
I fought with hub tonight. Two fights in one day? I’m on edge thanks to all that shitty food I have been inhaling lately. Add that to his temper and that is a recipe for disaster. Also, the wind is playing tricks on my mind. It blew the gate door open and now i’m convinced a creeper is outside my window right now waiting for me to fall asleep. (The insanity inside my mind….well you cannot even begin to fathom how bad it is.)

With my late night free time, I decided to check out my training log. I haven’t worked out since Tuesday. This makes me quite sad, but I will start fresh tomorrow. As my early post pressed upon, I will not let this four day slip-up become a four month slip-up. I have a nasty habit of letting things snowball, but not this time.

I have already carved out a slice of tomorrow for the gym. I will be restarting New Rules of Lifting for Women and officially starting my marathon training. I had been running again for two weeks but it was just to test out how my left foot is doing. A few months back I suffered from some arch issues in my left foot. I’m happy to say I ran 27-37 (I cannot fully remember) miles without any complications.

I also decided today that I would start lifting without the aide of No-Xplode. I love that stuff dearly but now that I am not working I do not have the funds to drop $45-70 on a tub of it every other month. (In addition to my vitamins, the gym membership, and the two protein powders I always have to have.) I’m nervous that maybe I won’t be lifting quite as heavy…but then again what can a scoop and a half of that really make me do that I cannot do on my own?!

I should try to go to bed now. I do not want to have to 0.d. on coffee tomorrow to be alter enough for my workout.


9 Nov


I hate staying up later than I should. One benefit of running and lifting is that I usually am asleep by this time. Two days off from the gym has been brutal, so glad i’ll be back in that wonderful place tomorrow.

I’m hoping for 110lbs for 2×12 on back squats. Won’t get there without beauty sleep.
Goodnight internet world.