Tag Archives: diet

Still Alive

21 Dec

M.I.A. this past week.
A long week it has turned out to be.
I stress ate a lot, but I stuck to my running.
Running with a food hangover blows.

I was suffering from stress-induced muscle spasms in my back all this week also. I did not hit the gym and lift weights. I was afraid of hurting myself.

I have my long run tomorrow. 8 miles.
I am excited to be near the double digits again. I love a good ten mile run. I believe next Saturday will be my first double digit for this training.

I can’t believe Christmas is almost here, and the world didn’t end today. New Year’s Resolutions should be starting soon. Which means the gym will be packed for two to four weeks. Lol!

Hope y’all have a great Christmas, weekend, day, Holiday…..or whatever doesn’t offend you! (:

I’ll be back come Thursday!!

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Small Steps

16 Dec

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I drag my exhausted body into the house. Looking around the disheveled living room, I shake my head and sink into the nearest chair. I feel the anxiety in my chest rising. My heart is starting to race. I can hear an echo in my ears. I can feel a lump in my throat.
I am thinking about the next few days. The stress of the upcoming holidays. The waiting. I am always waiting for something better. My mouth becomes dry. I stand up and pace. My mind locks on to one thought. I look over at my husband and he already knows what is happening.

Fifteen minutes later, I slowly unwrap the brown greasy bag. I take out a item that is less like food and more like a drug. I shovel it in my mouth. There really is no taste. I am not eating this for the taste; I am eating this for the fix, the high, the ability to focus on something else.
The bag is empty. My hands shine with grease and my face shines with guilt. I am ashamed. I am embarrassed. My chest seems to be pounding again. My mouth hangs half open. How do I let things get to this?

After a binge, I want to restrict. I want to purge. I want to feel clean again. Or…I keep bingeing. I temporarily give up on myself.
Friday was difficult. I wanted to run more than the 3 miles my training required. I wanted to head to the gym. I wanted to eat only 900 calories. I tried to push these thoughts away. Restricting will only lead to a binge. Bineging more will just make me feel worse.

I was able to moderately eat and only do my training run. I was proud. I came out on the other side of a binge. I did not slide downhill for a few days, nor did I starve myself for a few days.

Yesterday, I ran my week 3 long run. I did 7.05 miles in 69 minutes. I was able to enjoy a cupcake, guilt-free, afterwards. I am trying to not let stress control my eating habits, but it is easier said than done. I have been focusing for almost three-years on fixing myself, but I do know a lot of it is mental. I eat to relieve the stress I feel over things I feel I cannot control. I eat to relieve myself of the obscene standards I place upon myself. I eat when I fail….or when I think I have failed.

Point of this post: this is one of the first times I can remember NOT letting one binge control me and alter my next few days or weeks. Progress is progress. I have to remember to be proud of the small things.

I add memes to lighten up a serious sounding post...

I add memes to lighten up a serious sounding post…

Hulkin’ Around

13 Dec

Today was the interview at Disneyland. The interview went very well. The lady explained that Disney tends to pull apps prior to a peak season and put the best candidates on a waitlist. She told me to expect an email or call between January and February. She even waitlisted me for two positions: the stores and the quick-serve restaurants. She went on to tell me that I carry myself well and communicate with ease. The first part meant a lot to me because I have had a problem with portraying myself as confident for the majority of my life.

Here is the slip she gave me after the interview. The best part is: I won’t have to be interviewed again. I will receive a call or email for a job offer. Whoop! I am excited!

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After the interview, the boys and I lingered around Downtown Disney. Primarily the Lego store. My son showed a big interest in the Legos. He loved the Lego models of Woody, Buzz, and RC. We both really liked the Hulk model and decided to take a Hulk pose picture. (:

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In non-Disney related news, I am finally through with fall semester. I’m now thirteen units closer to my AA and have a 3.75 gpa. I am fairly proud! I cannot wait until spring semester in Feb! (Yes, I am that nerdy.)

Today was a well-deserved rest day. Yesterday, I killed my new rules stage 2A workout. I absolutely HATE front squat/push press. I love squats; it is the push press part I loathe. My ability to do push-ups and planks are slowly improving. I also blasted out my week 3 day 3 4 mile run. I woke up unable to fully walk until after my long hot shower. I will not be lifting until Sunday. Tomorrow I have a speedy 3 miler and Saturday is the day I dedicate solely to my long run, which is 7 miles this week.

Last thing, I want to recommend a protein bar. I am a fan of a couple Pure Protein products and the other day I came across another awesome one.

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This bar is delicious! I leave my protein bars in the fridge and this was another great cold bar. It is 180 calories, 20g protein, 17g carbs, and 6g fat. I have found them at Target and Fresh & Easy. The bar is fairly filling too!

To summarize: y’all cross your fingers that Disney calls and calls me soon!! (Or emails…that is fine too.) (:

Daily Fit Thought #14

7 Dec

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Tonight’s daily fit thought is about dreams.
Do you ever lay in bed at night and imagine the things you want to do? Do you then scoff at those dreams and tell yourself to be sensible? We all have at some point, but we should not.

What is the point of life without dreams? All of our goals develop from a dream, don’t they?

I used to dream of being able to run. I would see those people running on the sidewalk. They looked happy and free. I would gaze out at them from the passenger seat of my mom’s mini-van and later on from the driver’s seat of my first car while stopped at a red light. One day, I decided to make that dream come turn. I dusted off the treadmill in the back of the garage, hopped on it, and started running. I remember that my lungs burned before I even hit half a mile. I had a side stitch by three-fourths of a mile, and I was damn near collapsing after the first mile. Instead of giving up, my dreamed expanded: I wanted to run a 5k. My first 5k, on a treadmill, took me forty-four minutes to complete. A few months later, I ran my first 5k and I completed it in thirty-one minutes. By the end of that year, I ran a half marathon. Now, I am training to run the LA Marathon in March. I never stop dreaming. I never let fear stop my dreams from becoming bigger.

Dream, dream big.

New Shoes

5 Dec

As I stated in my last post I purchased a new pair of running shoes last Friday. I went with the Mizuno Wave Rider 16.

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I know, they look like watermelons! Anyway, I decided on coughing up the extra $80 to have a pair of custom insoles. I was skeptical but the salesman at Road Runner was just a doll. (And the 30-day money back guarantee helped!)

I tried out my new babies on Monday and was not impressed. I ran 2.25 miles on the treadmill. I felt loose and not secure with the shoe.

Note: I was wearing stability shoes prior to this new pair. However, after having my feet analyzed at Road Runner and comparing it to my first analyzation, my feet have changed. I am now in need of a neutral shoe. The pronation problems I had have been corrected. I was told that I trained my feet. Which made me feel like an awesome seasoned runner. (:

Back to the story: Today, I took my babies out for a four mile run. I decided no more treadmill running. I have always disliked it anyway. Well, this run was amazing. That on and off arch and knee pain I have dealt with this year? GONE I ran so comfortably. I felt as if baby Jesus had made those shoes specifically for my feet. I ran 4.40 in 42 minutes. I was not trying to be speedy. I actually wanted to run farther but the teenagers had just gotten out of school and they hog up the sidewalk. Point is: best running shoes ever.

(but the insoles could be the big difference…..)

In other news, I am alive again. I have one paper due Saturday and one due next Saturday. Then, I am done with school until spring. Also, (and this is why i’m still up) I have an interview at Disneyland next Thursday. I know it’s a week away but I found out a few hours ago so I am excited!! I need to go to bed. I have been waking up early so I can do 20-45 minutes of yoga before my son wakes up!

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yes, i am really excited….

Refreshed

3 Dec

The weekend was long. I finally caught up on sleep. I was able to turn in some of my assignments for school. I read a little. I even watched a bit of tv. I did not workout Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. Partly because of school and partly because I was just exhausted in general.

I finally replaced my stolen running shoes. I have a cute watermelon colored pair of Mizuno Wave Rider 16. I also got a pair of custom insoles. I cannot wait to try them out today. This is my fourth pair of Mizuno shoes. I have worn the Wave Inspire 7; those actually are the pair that saw me cross the finish line of my first half marathon. Then, I had a pair of Wave Rider 15 and the recent pair I had were Wave Inspire 8. I’m usually loyal to a brand so I cannot wait to run in my new babies today.

I went to bed last night at nine and woke up around three-thirty in the morning. I could not go back to sleep. I felt refreshed, for the first time in a month or so. I decided to stay up and start my day early. I prepped most of my meals for the week. I tried to make healthy mashed sweet potatoes. I am hoping they come out yummy. I cleaned, vacuumed, and did some laundry. I also fit in twenty minutes of yoga. I had so much accomplished by the time my son woke up at eight. I am thinking I should keep to this type of schedule.

Anyway, I have my iPhone loaded with new music and I cannot wait to go to the gym today. I am restarting week 2 of marathon training and have my last nrolfw stage 1 workout. Going three days without lifting and/or running is no bueno.

Hope y’all are having a productive monday!

Daily Fit Thought #13

30 Nov

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The fit thought today encompasses many parts of life.

There is much more to becoming healthy than just counting calories and going for a morning jog. A huge part of being healthy is working on the inside.

Shortcuts do not get you where you really want to be. We have all been guilty of shortcuts. I have vacuumed around a table, but not under. What did it accomplish? Nothing. Sure, the floor around the table was clean but eventually the mess needs to be completely vacuumed up. That is the problem with a shortcut: diverting from the right path leads to missing some key elements that you’ll have to take care of regardless.

Working out long and hard enough has not been my issue. My issue has been dealing with emotions. Throughout my fit journey, I have tried to take shortcuts. I have tried to over-exercise to make up for the other parts of myself that I could not control. What would happen? I would become fatigued, gain some weight, lose hope, and fall back into bad habits because I never worked on all of my problems.

Take the time and work on everything going on with yourself. Shortcuts will only rob you of the ability to fully evolve into the better person you really want to be, inside and out.