Food is Not a Shoulder to Cry on

24 Nov

My husband and I went out today. We never go out on Black Friday; “Why not see it for once”, we said.

Our first stop was Target. We saw many deals out still, even after 1pm. Surprisingly, we ignored the shopping bug nipping at our wallets. On the way out, however, we saw a box. Inside the box was a twelve-inch bike all decked out in Lightening McQueen decals. Our son, almost three, has been begging for the past few months for a bike. His birthday is a month after Christmas. We found the perfect gift. With smiles, we purchased the bike and bounced out of Target. We were so happy to find such a great deal on a bike for our boy! We place the box in the trunk and decide to walk the short distance to the mall. Earlier we saw that the parking lot was ridiculous, so why bother?

After a few hours at the mall, we headed back to the parking lot. After five minutes, my scanning starts to become frantic. “Hun, where is the car?” My husband walks down the next aisle of parked cars. I stand there while a lump grows in my throat. I can see he is pacing in between cars. There is a worried look coming over his face. My eyes begin to water because I know what has happened. “The car is gone, isn’t it?” I start to scream the first part over and over again. I begin to cry as I run between cars. I am silently praying that I am just being paranoid and jumping to conclusions. I always jump to conclusions.

But I am not being paranoid and I did jump to the right conclusion; the car was stolen.

I think of my son’s new bike. I wonder how will my husband get to work. I, selfishly, think of my running shoes. I think of the little things in my car, in my family’s car.

Jump to two hours later.
The police report was made. We are all at home. At the dinner table, I check the NBA game scores for the night. I watch my grandmother set up dinner. I immediately think of all the food I want to eat. I am not hungry, but food will fix my problem. I always tell myself that food will fix the problem.

How disgusting of me to go there. All the progress I have made, but I need to work on my relationship with food. Eating three slices of pumpkin pie will not bring the car back. Eating 5,000 calories will not make this turn into just a nightmare.

Luckily, before we start eating dinner, the police call and tell us our car is at a tow place. We can pick it up tomorrow. I hope my baby’s bike is still in there.

I am disappointed that I almost binged. Almost three years has past since I have actively decided to not emotionally eat. I need to take more time to work on this goal. Food does not cure emotional problems.


4 Responses to “Food is Not a Shoulder to Cry on”

  1. myfitfoot November 24, 2012 at 1:36 am #

    That’s a tough rollercoaster of a day. Really hoping everything is in your car when you collect it x

  2. fitnessaficionada November 24, 2012 at 1:59 pm #

    Even though you ‘almost’ binged, you didn’t! That is what matters. I am so glad that you got your car back with the bike still in it! I know that money is tight while in school, but I hope that you can get a new pair of running shoes and gloves and enjoy them!

    • runnerheather November 24, 2012 at 8:13 pm #

      Thank you. I am glad that my son’s bike was left in the trunk. My hubby told me that on Friday I can replace the things that were taken from my gym bag. (:

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