Love Thyself (Challenge #2)

20 Nov

I have a confession to make: I let other people influence my eating habits.

When I was younger, I was a bossy child. I had opinions, both right and wrong ones, and I stuck to them with a fervor and passion that could not be taken away. However, as I grew up, I became insecure and lost my confidence. Suddenly, my ideas, thoughts, and opinions, seemed weak and I was ready to toss them aside for almost anyone else’s.

I decided, almost three years ago, that I no longer wanted the eating habits that had plagued me for years. I revamped a lot of the things I did. I no longer drank regular soda. I no longer ate fast food multiple times a day. I actually started eating fruits and veggies. My husband was left in the wind. When we met, it was a whirlwind of late nights, fast food wrappers, and bad decisions. We loved spending time together, spending money, and eating. I can see that, to him, I have become a different person. I am trying to budget our money. I do not want to go out to eat. I spend more time in the gym. I talk about nutrition, running, lifting, and other things that he has no interest in. I see why he does not support me. I am not the women he fell in love with or married. At the same time though, people are constantly changing and evolving. Maybe one day he will change his mind and join me, or just support what I am doing.

Until then, I cannot let others influence the decisions I am making for myself. If my husband wants fast food then I must let him but not have it myself. I have to be able to stand up for myself and say, “No!” In the end, my husband might not feel guilty for eating junk food but I do.

This is the part of the journey that has been the hardest for me. I need to learn to love and respect myself. My whole life has been about putting other people first. I am always trying to make others happy. But what about Heather? I always seem to forget about her. I am always so willing to throw away what I want to put a smile on someone else’s face.

This is my new challenge. I messed up on my first challenge. I had fast food. I lasted a full week, but my challenge was a month. My husband wanted it Sunday night after the gym and I ate it with him. My next challenge: For 14 days, the span of two weeks, I need to stand up for myself. I want to rid myself of fast food and the daily junk in my life. I will have many opportunities to speak up and say, “No thank you, I do not want any of that.” If I do not learn how to stand up for myself, love myself, and respect myself I will lose control again.

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One Response to “Love Thyself (Challenge #2)”

  1. lapsedpt November 21, 2012 at 11:52 am #

    I can relate to that! It is so easy at the start of a relationship to fall into someone elses habits and lose sight of the habits you used to have or want or need to feel proud of yourself. Stick with it! It might mess up now and again, but just get back on the wagon as soon as you can any time that happens 🙂 x

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